Posts tagged ‘parenting’

Losing your marbles

I don’t know where this came from (if anyone would enlighten me that would be great!), this is pure inspiration for those of us who really do want to live life the best way we can. I’d love to hear your comments!

Fill a jar with marbles todayA few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the kitchen with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it.

I turned the volume up on my radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning talk show. I heard an older sounding chap with a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business himself.

He was talking about “a thousand marbles” to someone named “Tom.” I was intrigued and sat down to listen to what he had to say.

“Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you’re busy with your job. I’m sure they pay you well but it’s a shame you have to be away from home and your Family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter’s dance recital.”

He continued, “Let me tell you something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities.”

And that’s when he began to explain his theory of “a thousand marbles”

“You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.”

“Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900 which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now stick with me Tom, I’m getting to the important part.”

“It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail,” he went on, “and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.”

“So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to roundup 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here in my workshop next to the radio. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and have thrown it away”

“I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.”

“Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast.

This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday then I have been blessed with a little extra time to be with my loved ones……

“It was nice to talk to you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your loved ones, and I hope to meet you again someday. Have a good morning!”

You could have heard a pin drop when he finished. Even the show’s moderator didn’t have anything to say for a few moments. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to do some work that morning, then go to the
gym. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. “C’mon honey, I’m taking you and the kids to breakfast.”

“What brought this on?” she asked with a smile. “Oh, nothing special,” I said. “It has just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we’re out? I need to buy some marbles.”

HAVE A GREAT WEEK AND MAY ALL SATURDAYS BE SPECIAL, AND MAY YOU HAVE MANY HAPPY YEARS AFTER YOU LOSE ALL YOUR MARBLES!


Who pressed your buttons?

Do people press your buttons? Does something that happens in the morning, still bug you in the afternoon? In the evening? AND when you go to bed that night?

There is a story of two monks on a pilgrimage who had travelled far during the rainy season. They needed to cross a dangerous river which had burst it’s banks. Standing by the edge of the water was a finely dressed and attractive young woman and she pleaded with the two monks to help her across. The monks were of an order that were forbidden to speak or to touch women. The younger of the monks turned away and ignored her, but the older monk swept her up onto his shoulder and carried her across putting her down safe and sound on the other side. They parted company with the woman and continued on their travels.

The younger Monk was furious and he went on and on, berating the older monk, accusing him of betraying his order and his vows. Who did he think he was? Was was he thinking? Did he realise what he had done? What right had he to do this? He was the eldest, and should have been setting an example! For miles they continued their travels and eventually, after hours of continuous scolding, they came to a clearing. The elder monk stopped  and turned to face the younger. After a moment of silence, he said in a soft voice, gentle with compassion “my brother, I put that woman down an hour ago. It is you that is still carrying her”

If someone cut you up on the roundabout, this morning on the way to work, and flipped you the bird and you are still angry about it when you get in the car to drive home – consider this…..

If someone gives a gift to you of anger, and you do not accept this gift. Who does the anger belong to?

Consider this and GROW!


Will You Listen Today?

EFT listening
When we listen to people talk about their experiences and the choices they have made, do we really listen? I mean do we listen without making it personal. Personal, about us?

When we hear someone else’s story, our brain computes the information (or our perception of the information) and searches through it’s ‘My Life Experiences database’ to find something to match. It helps us to understand. When our brain finds the information it thinks it is looking for, we have instant access to ‘our story’.

Our story is sometimes bigger and better, more dramatic, more tragic. Our listening skills are then distracted by our need – need for acknowledgement of our experiences. Or maybe our story is smaller, not so interesting or exciting, no wow factor and the we feel, unimportant and dull thus being distracted with feelings of inadequacy, resentment and jealousy.

Are we still listening in all of this? And what about when we believe we know what’s best for others? That’s a good distraction too!

Strong opinions over the way other people live their live and loves are a reflection of what is going on inside of us at that particular time. We may believe that we know what is better for them, because we are close to them, have known them for a while or because, lets face it, we just know we know better! But, you cannot truly know if someone should be doing something differently. You can only know that if you were in that person’s shoes you might do that something differently.

And that makes a difference. Truth is, you are not in that person’s shoes.

To be in their shoes, you would have had to have lived their life. To have had their parents. To have gone to the same schools and colleges. Got the same grades and gone on to get the same job. To have had all of their experiences. To have had all of their heartaches, joys and celebrations. To have experienced all of their insecurities, their love, their hate. To have had their first success, their first failure. To have made exactly the same choices as them, involving exactly the same people at exactly the same time. Unless you are living in a parallel universe, you are not in that person’s shoes, and you never will be.

We are all different and we all have something to contribute. We are all born with a place in the world and we can all make a difference to those around us.

I wonder how many people I will listen to today 🙂 how about you?

Do you eat when you are sad or happy, or both?

EFT healthy eatingOh my goodness, when did that happen? Why is sitting down all of a sudden so uncomfortable? Hmm, that’ll be for the same reason that it is not a good idea to wear stretchy tops that cling to all the wrong places, in particular around that developing eruption around the waist band. It wasn’t like that a few weeks ago…. honest! Post 40, it definitely takes a lot longer to shift off than to put on. But enough moaning, time to examine what’s happening. I do EFT with clients for weight loss and we focus on getting rid of the negative emotions, which cause anxieties, which cause the cravings. And it works! Beautifully! However, what I have failed to notice over the last few weeks is how happy I have been. Guess what I do when I’m happy…… I celebrate! I eat lots of yummy food as a treat to celebrate my happiness!!! Life is good, I really fancy an Indian takeaway. Life is great, I am so pleased with what I have achieved today and I am loving these Bendicks Bittermints! My little boy earns house points at school and is really chuffed – lets celebrate and eat pizza!!! Okay, now I am starting to see a pattern.

Thinking of patterns…. we react to life in ways that we have been taught. We are taught by our parents (who were taught by their parents, who were taught by their parents), by our teachers (who were taught by their parents and their teachers… who were taught by their parents, who were taught by their parents and their teachers who were taught by their parents….), okay you get the picture.

My son is being taught by me. He is understands that when he falls over and cuts himself, he gets a cuddle and a lollipop. Lesson one, when we are in pain the pain disappears with a lollipop and we get attention.

He understands that when it is time for Mummy to cut his hair, if he doesn’t complain and keeps really still, he gets rewarded with sweets. Lesson two, when you have to do something you don’t want to do, rewarding yourself with treats is a way to get through it. Or, don’t do anything you don’t want to do unless there is a reward for you at the end of it that makes it worth your while.

He learns, that when we have had a great day we love to cuddle up on the sofa, eat pizza and popcorn and watch a movie. Lesson three, when you are happy veg out on the sofa and eat pizza and popcorn!

I shall leave you to draw your own conclusions, whilst I go and find something more comfy to wear!

Closer to, or further away, from your goal today?

I feel like a real juggler at the moment. Two businesses to run, a child to parent and a house to renovate!

I know my weaknesses! I can be very good at keeping myself busy in order to delay making a start on a project that I don’t want to start!

One of the items on my list of ‘things to do before Christmas’ is to remove an old en-suite, which is really a bog in a cupboard, to make room for something new and lovely. For this to happen I need to remove a partition wall. I have been putting it off and putting it off since the beginning of summer. This change is part of an update to my top floor, which needs to be completed by Christmas, so that when my family come and stay, everyone gets a room to sleep in.

So yesterday, I called my plumber to disconnect some old radiators and today I approached my task with an enthusiastic lump hammer!

The point to my sharing this with you is this… the reason for my not starting was that I hadn’t got hold of my plumber. Did I say reason? I meant excuse!

The question I asked myself yesterday was this… “If I don’t make that call to my plumber – is that taking me closer to, or further away from my goal?” Job done. Simples! A small step to get the ball rolling and away we go.

What did you put off doing today? By not doing it, you made a choice. Did that choice take you closer to or further away from your goal?

Right now my goal is to get all the dust and debris out of my hair!


Calling all working parents, we’ve all been here..

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: ‘ Daddy, may I ask you a question?’

DAD: ‘Yeah sure, what it is?’ replied the man.

SON: ‘ Daddy, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the man said angrily.

SON: ‘I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘If you must know, I make $50 an hour.’

SON: ‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: ‘ Daddy, may I please borrow $25?’

The father was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some

other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish.

I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolity’s.’

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only

to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

‘Are you asleep, son?’ He asked.

‘No daddy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy.

‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the man. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my

aggravation on you. Here’s the $25 you asked for.’

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you daddy!’ he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled

out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the father grumbled.

‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.

‘ Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have

dinner with you.’

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Back to School

It’s term time again and my little man, Ben, of 7 years, trooped off bravely to join the rest of his classmates hovering nervously in the playground on their first day back at school. New classrooms, new teachers (rumoured to be particularly scary ones this year) and a new time-table.

Wanting to cheer him up, I packed him off with a handful of kisses with instructions to keep them safe and to secretly take one out at a time, only when needed. He packed them carefully into his pockets and gave me a very strong and long hug, the type given only by very brave little souls.

When he returned that day, we was proud that he hadn’t needed all his kisses and that he had saved some for his Mummy. After all, he told me, I had probably missed him alot while he was at school. After he carefully got them out of his pocket and placed each one delicately on my cheek, I was my turn to give a strong and long hug. The type of hug given by the not so brave Mother who had a tear in her eye!

Every day we have an opportunity to help our children feel good about themselves.

I know that working with EFT, most of the issues we have in adult life, are as a result of negative childhood experiences.

precious moments