Posts tagged ‘families’

Losing your marbles

I don’t know where this came from (if anyone would enlighten me that would be great!), this is pure inspiration for those of us who really do want to live life the best way we can. I’d love to hear your comments!

Fill a jar with marbles todayA few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the kitchen with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it.

I turned the volume up on my radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning talk show. I heard an older sounding chap with a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business himself.

He was talking about “a thousand marbles” to someone named “Tom.” I was intrigued and sat down to listen to what he had to say.

“Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you’re busy with your job. I’m sure they pay you well but it’s a shame you have to be away from home and your Family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter’s dance recital.”

He continued, “Let me tell you something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities.”

And that’s when he began to explain his theory of “a thousand marbles”

“You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.”

“Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900 which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now stick with me Tom, I’m getting to the important part.”

“It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail,” he went on, “and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.”

“So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to roundup 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here in my workshop next to the radio. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and have thrown it away”

“I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.”

“Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast.

This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday then I have been blessed with a little extra time to be with my loved ones……

“It was nice to talk to you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your loved ones, and I hope to meet you again someday. Have a good morning!”

You could have heard a pin drop when he finished. Even the show’s moderator didn’t have anything to say for a few moments. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to do some work that morning, then go to the
gym. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. “C’mon honey, I’m taking you and the kids to breakfast.”

“What brought this on?” she asked with a smile. “Oh, nothing special,” I said. “It has just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we’re out? I need to buy some marbles.”

HAVE A GREAT WEEK AND MAY ALL SATURDAYS BE SPECIAL, AND MAY YOU HAVE MANY HAPPY YEARS AFTER YOU LOSE ALL YOUR MARBLES!


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Throw your pebbles away

pebblesDid your day have a bad start this morning? Who do you blame? The kids, the alarm clock, the economy, the weather, the car, the traffic, the traffic lights, the road works? Will you get home tonight in a bad mood? Who will you blame? Your boss, your collegues, the kids, the economy, the car, the traffic, the traffic lights, the road works?

After an Evening with Deepak Chopra, in September I queued up with everyone else at the ticket machine in the carpark. After spending 3 hours in a, never to repeated (for some) inspirational, potentially life changing environment, it didn’t take long – maybe 15 minutes tops, for people to start moaning! Blaming the long queues on the inadequate number of ticket machines. Blaming the slow people in front of them who didn’t have the right money or the even slower ones who were confused as to how the machine worked anyway! They moaned, but they didn’t help!

The world is not perfect. It never has been and it never will be. There will always be bad news on the TV, there will always be problems with the government, there will always be problems with housing markets and unemployment. There will always be problems with starvation and disease. There will always be poverty. There will always be businesses going under. There will always be job losses. There will always be death. There will always be tragedy. There will always be natural disasters. There will always be climate change. There will always be leaks in the roof, cars that won’t start, people that push buttons. There will always be ……

…. there will always be opportunities.

If we don’t like a politician, let’s accept it and give our focus and energy to the politician that we do like and trust. If we are troubled by the ‘badness’ in the world, then let us focus on doing something good – better still let us do random acts of kindness for no reward, acknowledgement or praise! Let’s choose to be unconditional for a day, with no judgement or critism. Notice how many times we have to stop ourselves from having a moan or a dig at someone or something else. Let’s congratulate ourselves for noticing how well we are doing. Reward ourselves for making the conscious effort to do things differently.

I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.
Mother Teresa

We  will always have choices.

We are all individuals making up the whole. Instead find fault in the world outside of us, let’s choose to look inside. Choose to take responsibility for our part in the world, that is the part we can truly make a difference with. Choose to know that everyone immediately in it, is affected by us and our choices.

Moaning is easy and lazy.

Today, choose to notice every time you have something negative to say about someone or something and make an effort to replace the negative with a positive. If you can’t think of anything positive, then choose not to say anything at all and instead to be grateful for something you have in your life no matter how hard that may be. If you are reading this, be grateful for the sight in your eyes.

We carry our thoughts around all day. Imagine your negative thoughts are pebbles in a back pack. The weight would soon have you feeling down and heavy. Imagine catching one negative thought, turning it into a positive and taking a pebble out of your back pack and throwing it far, far away. Knowing that with each step you take towards being more positive, you are lightening your load. Noticing that instead of trudging wearily through your day (existing) – you start walking with a spring in your step (living)!

If everyone chose to do this for one day, think what a difference it would make not just to you, but to those around you. To your relationships. To your children. To the everyone you meet in your day.

Who pressed your buttons?

Do people press your buttons? Does something that happens in the morning, still bug you in the afternoon? In the evening? AND when you go to bed that night?

There is a story of two monks on a pilgrimage who had travelled far during the rainy season. They needed to cross a dangerous river which had burst it’s banks. Standing by the edge of the water was a finely dressed and attractive young woman and she pleaded with the two monks to help her across. The monks were of an order that were forbidden to speak or to touch women. The younger of the monks turned away and ignored her, but the older monk swept her up onto his shoulder and carried her across putting her down safe and sound on the other side. They parted company with the woman and continued on their travels.

The younger Monk was furious and he went on and on, berating the older monk, accusing him of betraying his order and his vows. Who did he think he was? Was was he thinking? Did he realise what he had done? What right had he to do this? He was the eldest, and should have been setting an example! For miles they continued their travels and eventually, after hours of continuous scolding, they came to a clearing. The elder monk stopped  and turned to face the younger. After a moment of silence, he said in a soft voice, gentle with compassion “my brother, I put that woman down an hour ago. It is you that is still carrying her”

If someone cut you up on the roundabout, this morning on the way to work, and flipped you the bird and you are still angry about it when you get in the car to drive home – consider this…..

If someone gives a gift to you of anger, and you do not accept this gift. Who does the anger belong to?

Consider this and GROW!


Will You Listen Today?

EFT listening
When we listen to people talk about their experiences and the choices they have made, do we really listen? I mean do we listen without making it personal. Personal, about us?

When we hear someone else’s story, our brain computes the information (or our perception of the information) and searches through it’s ‘My Life Experiences database’ to find something to match. It helps us to understand. When our brain finds the information it thinks it is looking for, we have instant access to ‘our story’.

Our story is sometimes bigger and better, more dramatic, more tragic. Our listening skills are then distracted by our need – need for acknowledgement of our experiences. Or maybe our story is smaller, not so interesting or exciting, no wow factor and the we feel, unimportant and dull thus being distracted with feelings of inadequacy, resentment and jealousy.

Are we still listening in all of this? And what about when we believe we know what’s best for others? That’s a good distraction too!

Strong opinions over the way other people live their live and loves are a reflection of what is going on inside of us at that particular time. We may believe that we know what is better for them, because we are close to them, have known them for a while or because, lets face it, we just know we know better! But, you cannot truly know if someone should be doing something differently. You can only know that if you were in that person’s shoes you might do that something differently.

And that makes a difference. Truth is, you are not in that person’s shoes.

To be in their shoes, you would have had to have lived their life. To have had their parents. To have gone to the same schools and colleges. Got the same grades and gone on to get the same job. To have had all of their experiences. To have had all of their heartaches, joys and celebrations. To have experienced all of their insecurities, their love, their hate. To have had their first success, their first failure. To have made exactly the same choices as them, involving exactly the same people at exactly the same time. Unless you are living in a parallel universe, you are not in that person’s shoes, and you never will be.

We are all different and we all have something to contribute. We are all born with a place in the world and we can all make a difference to those around us.

I wonder how many people I will listen to today 🙂 how about you?

EFT and PTDS

How can EFT help with PTSD?

EFT works by balancing the bodies energy system by stimulating the end of certain energy meridian points on the upper part of the body. It can be described as an emotional acupuncture. Physical symptoms in the body such as anger, sadness, grief, nightmares, depression are caused by blockages in the bodies energy system. Our body is wired up with electricity and just as electricity needs a to flow to a light bulb, so our body’s energy system needs to flow freely. When it gets blocked we experience physical discomfort.

So back to PTSD. Your body cannot tell the difference between a memory and what is real, and when it feels threatened it goes into full alert Fight or Flight response. We need this ‘emergency’ protection in everyday life to keep us safe. However, if you have had traumatic experiences in the past, it can take very little to ‘trigger’ off a memory which your body can mistake for reality in the present day, and you will be flooded with the same physical anxieties that you experienced during your trauma in the past. Memories can be triggered off by something someone says, a facial expression, a noise, a colour, a smell… so many triggers in everyday life.

EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique and it does what it says. It is a technique which give you Emotional Freedom. It differs from other therapies as it is a technique that you can learn to do on yourself.

What can you expect? During a session you would be asked to remember some trauma from the past and whilst focussing on this memory (we are trained in using techniques to help you remember in as painless a way possible), your body would be experiencing an emotional intensity. You would give this intensity a number and remember it so as to measure the success of the EFT session (the number would be expected to go down significantly – often going to a zero). Once you have your number you would be shown the technique of EFT, which involves ‘tapping’ with the fingertips on certain acupuncture points. As the session progresses you will feel the body is more relaxed and balanced. Negative emotions will have dissolved and will no longer be triggered by the thoughts of the traumatic memories. Memories usually reveal many ‘hidden’ aspects and we would work on them as they come to the surface, unfolding the layers (a bit like peeling away the layers of an onion) until the memory can be recalled with the body and mind remaining in balance.

The best way to explain the success of EFT is to show you. If my clients can honestly say that they have experienced no relief with EFT during our session, I refund their money. I haven’t had to do this yet.

Please contact me for a no obligation chat to see if EFT can help you. Sessions can be done effectively over the phone. See my website for more info http://mindbodyeft.co.uk

Important note: While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it must still be considered to be in the experimental stage. I am not a trained doctor and I offer EFT as a Therapist and Personal Life Coach. Please consult qualified health practitioners regarding your use of EFT.

I am a member of the NHS Directory of Complimentary & Alternative Practitioners (UK)

Fibromyalgia

As a Practitioner of EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, I  believe that physical disease is a result of imbalances in our energy system (blockages) caused by unresolved past negative emotions.

There is a growing demand in the UK for alternative therapies as a way to support the emotional side of illness and disease. The NHS has a Directory of Complementary & Alternative Practitioners, which is made available to the public and medical practices. Your GP or medical practice MAY be open to the additional support that these therapies offer you. The mind and body work as one and addressing and healing the emotional aspects of physical illness frees the body up to promote its own healing.

For the condition of  Fibromyalgia, for example, there is no ‘cure’ other than the relief from the symptoms. Bestselling author and natural health advocate, Dr. Joseph Mercola uses EFT in his medical practice. “In my experience fibromyalgia is nearly always related to some severe emotional trauma that establishes a series of potentially devastating physical processes, which frequently incapacitate the person.”

If you would like some more information on how EFT might help you, please have a look at my website www.mindbodyeft.co.uk or if you have any questions, please email me on sarah@mindbodyeft.co.uk

For more detailed information on EFT case studies http://www.emofree.com/articles.aspx?id=19

Important note: While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it must still be considered to be in the experimental stage and thus practitioners and the public must take complete responsibility for their use of it. I am not a licensed health professional and I offer EFT as an Energy Therapist and Life Coach. Please consult qualified health practitioners regarding your use of EFT.

In the case of serious medical conditions or suspicious symptoms always seek the advice of your medical practitioner, before using EFT. Even if you believe you are clear of ongoing symptoms, always consult with your Doctor before giving up your medication.
Pain is a signal from your body that something is wrong. If it is being subdued by alternative therapies, and keeps returning, consult with your Doctor to understand the medical basis of that pain.

Do you eat when you are sad or happy, or both?

EFT healthy eatingOh my goodness, when did that happen? Why is sitting down all of a sudden so uncomfortable? Hmm, that’ll be for the same reason that it is not a good idea to wear stretchy tops that cling to all the wrong places, in particular around that developing eruption around the waist band. It wasn’t like that a few weeks ago…. honest! Post 40, it definitely takes a lot longer to shift off than to put on. But enough moaning, time to examine what’s happening. I do EFT with clients for weight loss and we focus on getting rid of the negative emotions, which cause anxieties, which cause the cravings. And it works! Beautifully! However, what I have failed to notice over the last few weeks is how happy I have been. Guess what I do when I’m happy…… I celebrate! I eat lots of yummy food as a treat to celebrate my happiness!!! Life is good, I really fancy an Indian takeaway. Life is great, I am so pleased with what I have achieved today and I am loving these Bendicks Bittermints! My little boy earns house points at school and is really chuffed – lets celebrate and eat pizza!!! Okay, now I am starting to see a pattern.

Thinking of patterns…. we react to life in ways that we have been taught. We are taught by our parents (who were taught by their parents, who were taught by their parents), by our teachers (who were taught by their parents and their teachers… who were taught by their parents, who were taught by their parents and their teachers who were taught by their parents….), okay you get the picture.

My son is being taught by me. He is understands that when he falls over and cuts himself, he gets a cuddle and a lollipop. Lesson one, when we are in pain the pain disappears with a lollipop and we get attention.

He understands that when it is time for Mummy to cut his hair, if he doesn’t complain and keeps really still, he gets rewarded with sweets. Lesson two, when you have to do something you don’t want to do, rewarding yourself with treats is a way to get through it. Or, don’t do anything you don’t want to do unless there is a reward for you at the end of it that makes it worth your while.

He learns, that when we have had a great day we love to cuddle up on the sofa, eat pizza and popcorn and watch a movie. Lesson three, when you are happy veg out on the sofa and eat pizza and popcorn!

I shall leave you to draw your own conclusions, whilst I go and find something more comfy to wear!