Archive for the ‘emotional health’ Category

Losing your marbles

I don’t know where this came from (if anyone would enlighten me that would be great!), this is pure inspiration for those of us who really do want to live life the best way we can. I’d love to hear your comments!

Fill a jar with marbles todayA few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the kitchen with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it.

I turned the volume up on my radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning talk show. I heard an older sounding chap with a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business himself.

He was talking about “a thousand marbles” to someone named “Tom.” I was intrigued and sat down to listen to what he had to say.

“Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you’re busy with your job. I’m sure they pay you well but it’s a shame you have to be away from home and your Family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter’s dance recital.”

He continued, “Let me tell you something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities.”

And that’s when he began to explain his theory of “a thousand marbles”

“You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.”

“Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900 which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now stick with me Tom, I’m getting to the important part.”

“It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail,” he went on, “and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.”

“So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to roundup 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here in my workshop next to the radio. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and have thrown it away”

“I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.”

“Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast.

This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday then I have been blessed with a little extra time to be with my loved ones……

“It was nice to talk to you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your loved ones, and I hope to meet you again someday. Have a good morning!”

You could have heard a pin drop when he finished. Even the show’s moderator didn’t have anything to say for a few moments. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to do some work that morning, then go to the
gym. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. “C’mon honey, I’m taking you and the kids to breakfast.”

“What brought this on?” she asked with a smile. “Oh, nothing special,” I said. “It has just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we’re out? I need to buy some marbles.”

HAVE A GREAT WEEK AND MAY ALL SATURDAYS BE SPECIAL, AND MAY YOU HAVE MANY HAPPY YEARS AFTER YOU LOSE ALL YOUR MARBLES!


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Top 5 Tips for Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction1. The Law of Attraction involves trust. You have to trust that the universe will do its bit.

2. Remembering to meet it half way, if opportunity is knocking on your door, it is no good turning the volume up on your TV!

3. Stop looking for evidence to show that the Law of Attraction doesn’t work. Remember that whatever you think is, in itself, an affirmation, that the universe WILL listen to.

4. With every thought, you are creating your reality. So make your thoughts amazing

5. Embracing the Law of Attraction is surrendering the need to blame others for where you are. Law of Attraction is about you controlling you. You don’t need to control others, give them the space and freedom to follow their own path.

How can EFT help with Trauma?

j0182676EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is an energy psychology that was founded in the mid 1990’s by Gary Craig, a Stanford Engineer, following his studies with Roger Callahan in Thought Field Therapy. As the public demand for alternative medicines is growing we are starting to see and hear more and more about the successes of EFT in the Media, in many areas including PTSD.

EFT is based on the belief that all negative emotions are a result of an imbalance in the body energy system. Eastern traditions have been aware of the meridians of energy for thousands of years. The meridian network was detailed in the first medical account of acupuncture in The Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine, which dates from the Han Dynasty (206 BCE to 220 ACE). A simple way to describe EFT would be that it is like emotional acupuncture, without the needles.

An EFT therapist works by tapping (teaching the Client to tap) with the fingertips on certain meridian points, stimulating the blocked energy so that is starts flowing freely again. Whilst tapping, the Client focusses on negative feelings, thoughts and emotions and experiences rapid and often long lasting relief, as the body and mind become calmed and energetically balanced.

One of the areas that EFT is most effective in is Trauma. When you experience a traumatic event, it is stored not only in your memory but in your body also. It is not uncommon for sickness and disease to be diagnosed shortly after the experience of trauma. The mind and body operate as one.

The mind is not able to tell the difference between what is happening in the present moment and what is a memory. It can be triggered by anything which it perceives as a threat and the body reacts instinctively in order to protect us. You may experience physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, shaking, nightmares, insomnia, mood swings, memories of destruction, pain or death, tensions or pain in the body.

For example, if you were the driver who had survived a severe car crash, and before the moment of impact you saw in the rear view mirror a red truck hurtling towards you, then the chances are, in the future (if you ever drive again), when you look into the rearview mirror and see a red truck coming up behind you, you will experience the same rush of physical symptoms that you had just before the original accident.

If you were beaten or abused as a child (or adult) you may be triggered by a smell, a location, a tone of voice or a facial expression and you would immediately feel an emotional intensity.

An EFT Therapist would guide you through these emotional and physical intensities. You would recall the traumatic memory and tap on the meridian points to calm down any anxieties that come up as a result. It is important to work with an experienced Therapist as they will have been trained in techniques such as the Tearless Trauma Technique which allow you, the client, to recall any incident in a safe and pain free environment.

Sometimes relief is experienced almost immediately. The memory is not taken away, instead the negative emotions are neutralized so that you do not have to relive the physical symptoms of the trauma over and over again, as if you were there.

EFT does not replace medical treatments and you should always seek advice from your Doctor before using EFT, this is especially important if you have depression.

Here are some interesting video links, showing EFT sessions live

Video interview with Celia Kane,  diagnosed with PTSD, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Video footage was recorded working with War Veterans from Vietnam and Iraq and shows clearly how EFT works with PTSD go to http://www.emofree.com/freevideos.aspx and click on the video EFT for War Veterans.

This lady took part of one of Gary Craig’s earlier training workshops and this session was recorded with permission and is included in Gary’s DVD library. It shows just how EFT helped her with her childhood sexual abuse.

For more information on EFT and a whole library of information, including free downloads and tutorials go to http://www.emofree.com

I work as an Energy Practitioner and am a Member of AAMET (Association for the Advancement of Meridian Energy Therapies) and GRCCT  (General Regulatory Council for Complimentary Therapists). I am also a Member of the NHS Directory of Complimentary and Alternative Practitioners which is available to  GPs and members of the public (UK). For more information http://www.mindbodyEFT.co.uk or call 0845 0542898 (UK local rate)

Who pressed your buttons?

Do people press your buttons? Does something that happens in the morning, still bug you in the afternoon? In the evening? AND when you go to bed that night?

There is a story of two monks on a pilgrimage who had travelled far during the rainy season. They needed to cross a dangerous river which had burst it’s banks. Standing by the edge of the water was a finely dressed and attractive young woman and she pleaded with the two monks to help her across. The monks were of an order that were forbidden to speak or to touch women. The younger of the monks turned away and ignored her, but the older monk swept her up onto his shoulder and carried her across putting her down safe and sound on the other side. They parted company with the woman and continued on their travels.

The younger Monk was furious and he went on and on, berating the older monk, accusing him of betraying his order and his vows. Who did he think he was? Was was he thinking? Did he realise what he had done? What right had he to do this? He was the eldest, and should have been setting an example! For miles they continued their travels and eventually, after hours of continuous scolding, they came to a clearing. The elder monk stopped  and turned to face the younger. After a moment of silence, he said in a soft voice, gentle with compassion “my brother, I put that woman down an hour ago. It is you that is still carrying her”

If someone cut you up on the roundabout, this morning on the way to work, and flipped you the bird and you are still angry about it when you get in the car to drive home – consider this…..

If someone gives a gift to you of anger, and you do not accept this gift. Who does the anger belong to?

Consider this and GROW!


My evening with Deepak Chopra

My Evening with Deepak Chopra Last Saturday I spent the evening with Deepak Chopra! Well, okay so did lots of others but I am sure that noticed me….. I’d show you the picture of him signing my books but it shows the back of my head (my best side?) and he is looking in the opposite direction – never mind, there was definitely a spiritual connection somewhere!

On a more serious note, let’s talk about the mind and body connection. Two people get sick, one has a positive attitude and one doesn’t – who is more likely to get better? It’s obviously not that simple, but the reality is that the body stands a far better chance of healing itself (the job it was born to do by the way), if the mind is operating on a good healthy vibrational level. In Wayne Dyer’s book There is a Spiritual Solution to every problem, he talks about our energetic frequencies and how we are all born with the potential to have cancer and other diseases and those operating on a lower frequency level i.e. those who are depressed or angry or living with very negative emotions, are more likely to provide an environment in the body for disease to thrive. The further up the energetic scale you go, the healthier you are likely to be (or to become).

Emotion is Energy in Motion (E-Motion get it?!), if your emotions are low, then your energy is not flowing as it should and when your body energy system is not flowing freely, you are susceptable to sickness and disease.

It is not the job of the Doctor to MAKE you better. Medical practices are there to help you keep well. They are there to help you and that is the key. You need to also help yourself. Your body and mind is your responsibilty and you can make a difference to the way your body heals itself. If you have negative trauma in your past, if you have anger, hate, grief or resentment in your memory then you have it in your body. If you have it in your body it will manifest itself as sickness. Freeing yourself from the past emotionally in turn frees your body up to do what it was designed to do.

Our bodies are miracles in progress. Were you aware that the body you went to sleep in 2 nights ago is not the same body that you are in now? Did you know that we make a new liver every 6 weeks, we renew our skin every month, and 98% of all the atoms in our body are replaced every year. In 4 years your body will have replaced itself completely, right down to its last atom!

Truly hard to get your head around isn’t it. If you are interested to find out more about how our emotions affect us physically I would recommend a reading The Molecules of Emotion by Candace Pert, PhD.

I came away from my evening with Deepak with my mind bent like a pretzel. There were elements that were truly beyond me and elements that I could understand – those were the bits I liked best! I followed my instincts when I left the venue and my sat nav was still trying to find itself. I turned right instead of left and got stuck in the centre of Manchester trying to get out at 11pm on a Saturday night! Ho hum…

It gave me time to reflect……was Deepak Chopra really wearing sparkley glasses??!

Will You Listen Today?

EFT listening
When we listen to people talk about their experiences and the choices they have made, do we really listen? I mean do we listen without making it personal. Personal, about us?

When we hear someone else’s story, our brain computes the information (or our perception of the information) and searches through it’s ‘My Life Experiences database’ to find something to match. It helps us to understand. When our brain finds the information it thinks it is looking for, we have instant access to ‘our story’.

Our story is sometimes bigger and better, more dramatic, more tragic. Our listening skills are then distracted by our need – need for acknowledgement of our experiences. Or maybe our story is smaller, not so interesting or exciting, no wow factor and the we feel, unimportant and dull thus being distracted with feelings of inadequacy, resentment and jealousy.

Are we still listening in all of this? And what about when we believe we know what’s best for others? That’s a good distraction too!

Strong opinions over the way other people live their live and loves are a reflection of what is going on inside of us at that particular time. We may believe that we know what is better for them, because we are close to them, have known them for a while or because, lets face it, we just know we know better! But, you cannot truly know if someone should be doing something differently. You can only know that if you were in that person’s shoes you might do that something differently.

And that makes a difference. Truth is, you are not in that person’s shoes.

To be in their shoes, you would have had to have lived their life. To have had their parents. To have gone to the same schools and colleges. Got the same grades and gone on to get the same job. To have had all of their experiences. To have had all of their heartaches, joys and celebrations. To have experienced all of their insecurities, their love, their hate. To have had their first success, their first failure. To have made exactly the same choices as them, involving exactly the same people at exactly the same time. Unless you are living in a parallel universe, you are not in that person’s shoes, and you never will be.

We are all different and we all have something to contribute. We are all born with a place in the world and we can all make a difference to those around us.

I wonder how many people I will listen to today 🙂 how about you?

EFT and PTDS

How can EFT help with PTSD?

EFT works by balancing the bodies energy system by stimulating the end of certain energy meridian points on the upper part of the body. It can be described as an emotional acupuncture. Physical symptoms in the body such as anger, sadness, grief, nightmares, depression are caused by blockages in the bodies energy system. Our body is wired up with electricity and just as electricity needs a to flow to a light bulb, so our body’s energy system needs to flow freely. When it gets blocked we experience physical discomfort.

So back to PTSD. Your body cannot tell the difference between a memory and what is real, and when it feels threatened it goes into full alert Fight or Flight response. We need this ‘emergency’ protection in everyday life to keep us safe. However, if you have had traumatic experiences in the past, it can take very little to ‘trigger’ off a memory which your body can mistake for reality in the present day, and you will be flooded with the same physical anxieties that you experienced during your trauma in the past. Memories can be triggered off by something someone says, a facial expression, a noise, a colour, a smell… so many triggers in everyday life.

EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique and it does what it says. It is a technique which give you Emotional Freedom. It differs from other therapies as it is a technique that you can learn to do on yourself.

What can you expect? During a session you would be asked to remember some trauma from the past and whilst focussing on this memory (we are trained in using techniques to help you remember in as painless a way possible), your body would be experiencing an emotional intensity. You would give this intensity a number and remember it so as to measure the success of the EFT session (the number would be expected to go down significantly – often going to a zero). Once you have your number you would be shown the technique of EFT, which involves ‘tapping’ with the fingertips on certain acupuncture points. As the session progresses you will feel the body is more relaxed and balanced. Negative emotions will have dissolved and will no longer be triggered by the thoughts of the traumatic memories. Memories usually reveal many ‘hidden’ aspects and we would work on them as they come to the surface, unfolding the layers (a bit like peeling away the layers of an onion) until the memory can be recalled with the body and mind remaining in balance.

The best way to explain the success of EFT is to show you. If my clients can honestly say that they have experienced no relief with EFT during our session, I refund their money. I haven’t had to do this yet.

Please contact me for a no obligation chat to see if EFT can help you. Sessions can be done effectively over the phone. See my website for more info http://mindbodyeft.co.uk

Important note: While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it must still be considered to be in the experimental stage. I am not a trained doctor and I offer EFT as a Therapist and Personal Life Coach. Please consult qualified health practitioners regarding your use of EFT.

I am a member of the NHS Directory of Complimentary & Alternative Practitioners (UK)