Archive for the ‘anger management’ Category

Throw your pebbles away

pebblesDid your day have a bad start this morning? Who do you blame? The kids, the alarm clock, the economy, the weather, the car, the traffic, the traffic lights, the road works? Will you get home tonight in a bad mood? Who will you blame? Your boss, your collegues, the kids, the economy, the car, the traffic, the traffic lights, the road works?

After an Evening with Deepak Chopra, in September I queued up with everyone else at the ticket machine in the carpark. After spending 3 hours in a, never to repeated (for some) inspirational, potentially life changing environment, it didn’t take long – maybe 15 minutes tops, for people to start moaning! Blaming the long queues on the inadequate number of ticket machines. Blaming the slow people in front of them who didn’t have the right money or the even slower ones who were confused as to how the machine worked anyway! They moaned, but they didn’t help!

The world is not perfect. It never has been and it never will be. There will always be bad news on the TV, there will always be problems with the government, there will always be problems with housing markets and unemployment. There will always be problems with starvation and disease. There will always be poverty. There will always be businesses going under. There will always be job losses. There will always be death. There will always be tragedy. There will always be natural disasters. There will always be climate change. There will always be leaks in the roof, cars that won’t start, people that push buttons. There will always be ……

…. there will always be opportunities.

If we don’t like a politician, let’s accept it and give our focus and energy to the politician that we do like and trust. If we are troubled by the ‘badness’ in the world, then let us focus on doing something good – better still let us do random acts of kindness for no reward, acknowledgement or praise! Let’s choose to be unconditional for a day, with no judgement or critism. Notice how many times we have to stop ourselves from having a moan or a dig at someone or something else. Let’s congratulate ourselves for noticing how well we are doing. Reward ourselves for making the conscious effort to do things differently.

I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.
Mother Teresa

We  will always have choices.

We are all individuals making up the whole. Instead find fault in the world outside of us, let’s choose to look inside. Choose to take responsibility for our part in the world, that is the part we can truly make a difference with. Choose to know that everyone immediately in it, is affected by us and our choices.

Moaning is easy and lazy.

Today, choose to notice every time you have something negative to say about someone or something and make an effort to replace the negative with a positive. If you can’t think of anything positive, then choose not to say anything at all and instead to be grateful for something you have in your life no matter how hard that may be. If you are reading this, be grateful for the sight in your eyes.

We carry our thoughts around all day. Imagine your negative thoughts are pebbles in a back pack. The weight would soon have you feeling down and heavy. Imagine catching one negative thought, turning it into a positive and taking a pebble out of your back pack and throwing it far, far away. Knowing that with each step you take towards being more positive, you are lightening your load. Noticing that instead of trudging wearily through your day (existing) – you start walking with a spring in your step (living)!

If everyone chose to do this for one day, think what a difference it would make not just to you, but to those around you. To your relationships. To your children. To the everyone you meet in your day.

Advertisements

How can EFT help with Trauma?

j0182676EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is an energy psychology that was founded in the mid 1990’s by Gary Craig, a Stanford Engineer, following his studies with Roger Callahan in Thought Field Therapy. As the public demand for alternative medicines is growing we are starting to see and hear more and more about the successes of EFT in the Media, in many areas including PTSD.

EFT is based on the belief that all negative emotions are a result of an imbalance in the body energy system. Eastern traditions have been aware of the meridians of energy for thousands of years. The meridian network was detailed in the first medical account of acupuncture in The Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine, which dates from the Han Dynasty (206 BCE to 220 ACE). A simple way to describe EFT would be that it is like emotional acupuncture, without the needles.

An EFT therapist works by tapping (teaching the Client to tap) with the fingertips on certain meridian points, stimulating the blocked energy so that is starts flowing freely again. Whilst tapping, the Client focusses on negative feelings, thoughts and emotions and experiences rapid and often long lasting relief, as the body and mind become calmed and energetically balanced.

One of the areas that EFT is most effective in is Trauma. When you experience a traumatic event, it is stored not only in your memory but in your body also. It is not uncommon for sickness and disease to be diagnosed shortly after the experience of trauma. The mind and body operate as one.

The mind is not able to tell the difference between what is happening in the present moment and what is a memory. It can be triggered by anything which it perceives as a threat and the body reacts instinctively in order to protect us. You may experience physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, shaking, nightmares, insomnia, mood swings, memories of destruction, pain or death, tensions or pain in the body.

For example, if you were the driver who had survived a severe car crash, and before the moment of impact you saw in the rear view mirror a red truck hurtling towards you, then the chances are, in the future (if you ever drive again), when you look into the rearview mirror and see a red truck coming up behind you, you will experience the same rush of physical symptoms that you had just before the original accident.

If you were beaten or abused as a child (or adult) you may be triggered by a smell, a location, a tone of voice or a facial expression and you would immediately feel an emotional intensity.

An EFT Therapist would guide you through these emotional and physical intensities. You would recall the traumatic memory and tap on the meridian points to calm down any anxieties that come up as a result. It is important to work with an experienced Therapist as they will have been trained in techniques such as the Tearless Trauma Technique which allow you, the client, to recall any incident in a safe and pain free environment.

Sometimes relief is experienced almost immediately. The memory is not taken away, instead the negative emotions are neutralized so that you do not have to relive the physical symptoms of the trauma over and over again, as if you were there.

EFT does not replace medical treatments and you should always seek advice from your Doctor before using EFT, this is especially important if you have depression.

Here are some interesting video links, showing EFT sessions live

Video interview with Celia Kane,  diagnosed with PTSD, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Video footage was recorded working with War Veterans from Vietnam and Iraq and shows clearly how EFT works with PTSD go to http://www.emofree.com/freevideos.aspx and click on the video EFT for War Veterans.

This lady took part of one of Gary Craig’s earlier training workshops and this session was recorded with permission and is included in Gary’s DVD library. It shows just how EFT helped her with her childhood sexual abuse.

For more information on EFT and a whole library of information, including free downloads and tutorials go to http://www.emofree.com

I work as an Energy Practitioner and am a Member of AAMET (Association for the Advancement of Meridian Energy Therapies) and GRCCT  (General Regulatory Council for Complimentary Therapists). I am also a Member of the NHS Directory of Complimentary and Alternative Practitioners which is available to  GPs and members of the public (UK). For more information http://www.mindbodyEFT.co.uk or call 0845 0542898 (UK local rate)

Who pressed your buttons?

Do people press your buttons? Does something that happens in the morning, still bug you in the afternoon? In the evening? AND when you go to bed that night?

There is a story of two monks on a pilgrimage who had travelled far during the rainy season. They needed to cross a dangerous river which had burst it’s banks. Standing by the edge of the water was a finely dressed and attractive young woman and she pleaded with the two monks to help her across. The monks were of an order that were forbidden to speak or to touch women. The younger of the monks turned away and ignored her, but the older monk swept her up onto his shoulder and carried her across putting her down safe and sound on the other side. They parted company with the woman and continued on their travels.

The younger Monk was furious and he went on and on, berating the older monk, accusing him of betraying his order and his vows. Who did he think he was? Was was he thinking? Did he realise what he had done? What right had he to do this? He was the eldest, and should have been setting an example! For miles they continued their travels and eventually, after hours of continuous scolding, they came to a clearing. The elder monk stopped  and turned to face the younger. After a moment of silence, he said in a soft voice, gentle with compassion “my brother, I put that woman down an hour ago. It is you that is still carrying her”

If someone cut you up on the roundabout, this morning on the way to work, and flipped you the bird and you are still angry about it when you get in the car to drive home – consider this…..

If someone gives a gift to you of anger, and you do not accept this gift. Who does the anger belong to?

Consider this and GROW!